Fragments of Gondwana

Numerous tiny details combine to make an entire world

On a long tour, one has plenty of time to ponder all manner of topics, and observe a multitude of seemingly incongrous aspects of the World. Here are some leftover items from my Tour:

Cycling Circumstances

~ Of the 86,408 kilometers of cycling in the Tour, 46.6% involved travel on the Left-Hand Side of roads (in theory, at least), and the remainder, 53.4%, on the Right-Hand Side.

~ Percentage of cycling days without any mechanical issues whatsoever: 68%. The stage with the highest level was Stage 1 (78%), and that with the lowest was Stage 3 (53%)

~ Percentage of roads used with a gravel or dirt surface: 8.6% (though it often felt like a lot more than that). Stages 3 and 4 were tied for the most (9.9%), while Stage 5 had the least (0.8%)

~ Number of Centuries ridden during the Tour:
129 Imperial; 486 Metric; 8 Double-Metric;

~ Of the 133 tube patches I made during the Tour:

17.3% were caused by pinch flats;
15.8% by tire failure;
15.8% by small pieces of wire;
10.5% by thorns;
8.3% by an older patch leaking;
5.3% by glass;
3.8% by thorns at campsites;
3% by damaged rims;
3% by poor or improperly-sized tubes;
0.8% by nails; and
16.5% by unknown or undetermined causes.
(Most of the pinch flats occurred when I was using cheap replacement tires for whatever reason)

~ I have never been completely confident in the accuracy of the Total Accumulated Altitude function of my cyclocomputer. If it is correct, however, I gained 820 kilometers of altitude during the Tour. Twice the altitude at which the Space Shuttle orbits – one meter at a time.

~ An example of an item carried throughout the entire Tour but never used: Spare mounting bracket for cyclocomputer. An example of something added to my standard gear along the way: Little 10 mL tubes of epoxy, useful for a multitude of quick repairs.

~ The World's most detestable driving behavior is the Overtaking Disease, which causes its adherents to habitually overtake other vehicles with such frequency that they spend an inordinate amount of time in the opposing lane. An epidemic of this disease is breaking out in Tasmania, raging in Argentina and Colombia, and has reached pandemic proportions in Bangladesh and India.

~ Sometime during the last few hundred years, somewhere in the World, two engineers first had the following discussion:

 
Engineer #1: "All right, they want us to build a new road here. What shall we use to make it?"

Engineer # 2: "Well, there is that big pile of large, jagged rocks over there. Why don't we use those?"

Engineer # 1: "Hey! Great Idea!

~ Also in our recent past, someone thought it would be a Great Idea to install an obnoxiously loud, noise-making device on motor vehicles. For my second use of the Time Machine, whoever had that brainstorm gets the same treatment.

Please spread this idea around the Globe

Cultural Idiosyncrasies

~ No matter where you are in the World, and whichever currency is in use, one can never have too much small change.

~ In many parts of the world, the concept that hot water should be controlled by the knob with the red dot, and cold water by the one marked with blue, has not yet found its way into common knowledge. Always check first.

~ Similarly, the idea that the salt shaker should be the one with the largest holes, while the pepper should have the smallest, is also weak meme. Always check first.

~ Forget Xbox or Nintendo, Hoop and Stick is still one of the World's most popular games for kids.

~ There really is no place left in the world where it is not possible to purchase a Coca Cola.

~ I probably would have said the same thing about instant noodles (sold under various names, such as, Ramen, Maggi, Nissin, Maruchan, Aji-No-Men, and in Nepal with the more amusing monikers Hurray! and Shaka Laka BOOM!), but they are mysteriously absent from shops in Argentina (and Uruguay.)

~ Finding a suitable food for breakfast when camping continued to be one of my most difficult challenges. A package of Arnott's Mint Slice Biscuits seemed to be the best choice. Unfortunately, they are only available in Australia.

~For reasons unknown to me, Madagascar seems to produce the worlds tastiest carrots.

~ There are eight charades most important to international travelers (Do you know them all?-- I need some food; I need a drink; I need a place to sleep; What time is it?; I can't hear you; Shhhh… Quiet!; Too much/not enough/don't have any money; Check, please!) In all the World, India is perhaps the place where these are least understood.

~ In Argentina, shopkeepers frequently have not grasped the concept that a sign hanging in their door marked Open and Closed on opposite sides, is actually supposed to be flipped around twice a day to indicate the store's status.

~ Africa is the place one is most likely to find an out-of-date or erroneous sign, such as: One seen hanging outside a shop that says Internet Available Here, in which, when an inquiry is made for that particular service, invariably results in a response of, "Oh, no, we don't have that."

This shop probabaly can't provide instant nor digital passport photos

Language Lunacy

~ While most people in the World don't speak English, a few words are generally known, especially Bye-Bye (among the youngsters); OK!; and Short-Cut, though it is debatable whether the true meaning of that last phrase is well understood.

~ Nicknames meaning Pale-Looking Outsider heard along the Tour route:

Australia: Mate (applies to everyone)
Papua New Guinea: White Man
Timor Leste: Malai
Malaysia: Orang Laru (rarely used)
Thailand/Cambodia/Laos: Farang
Nepal: Tourist (as in Hello, Tourist. How are you?)
India: Sahib/Boss/Mister (rarely used)
S. Ethiopia/N. Kenya Farenji
Tanzania/Rwanda/Zambia: Muzungu
Burundi: Touristé/Muzungu
Madagascar: Vazaha
Latin America (mainly Bolivia, Peru, Ecuador): Gringo
Navajo - Bilagaanaa

~ Winners of the Funniest Language Usage Contest:

3rd place: "Fooding"– Used in various locations in South Asia, in situations such as: "Tenzing's Hotel – Fooding and Lodging." There is nothing technically wrong with that, I suppose. I just think it sounds amusing;

2nd place: "Gomeria" – In southern South America, a general mechanic's shop specializing in tires and wheels, is called a Gomeria. They are often located out in a rural place, in an old shop marked by a half-buried tire with the word Gomeria painted on it in big, white letters. All I could think of when I saw one was, "this looks like a place where Gomer Pyle should be working"; (Sorry, a U.S.-centric pop-cultural reference)

1st Prize: "Robots"– In South Africa, the familiar Red-Yellow-Green traffic signals are called Robots, which leads to some interesting conversations, like:

 
- "Excuse me, how do I get to the supermarket? "

- "Well, you just go past four Robots, turn right, and you'll see it at the next Robot."

- "Ummm… I do what? "

~ My favorite non-roman alphabet: The script of Myanmar. Below is my feeble attempt to phonetically spell Tour of Gondwana using that alphabet. A more literate example is in the image further below

Text in the Myanmar script describing the life of Buddha

Geographic Considerations

~ Number of international borders crossed: 78. Slowest border procedures: Bangladesh into India.

~ In a big departure in style for me, of the 44 cycling countries of the Tour, I visited the capital cities in 31. The largest capital involving cycling was metro Buenos Aires with a population of 13 million (though Dhaka, Bangladesh was a close second,) and the smallest was Belmopan, Belize at about 10,000.

~ I had never previously been on a tour that was long enough that I needed a haircut along the way. During this Tour, I required sixteen. Anyone who follows my exact tour route, at the same pace I traveled, and with hair that grows at the same rate as mine, might find it useful to be coiffed in the following cities: Cairns, Darwin, Phuket, Yangon, Shigaste, Mumbai, Mwanza, Maseru, Vitoria, Comodoro Rivadavia, Puerto Montt, Rio de Janeiro, Asuncion, Pisco, Quito, and Belize City.

~ Warped in Space and Time: Several areas along the Tour route appear to be warped in such a way. This is often revealed by passing a road sign displaying: Foodville 110 kilometers, and, after riding an additional 5 kilometers, seeing another marked Foodville 115 kilometers. Australia is surprisingly susceptible to this phenomenon, as are parts of southern South America.

~ Of all the life forms on our planet, none is more dastardly than the flies of Outback Australia.

~ There is no better place for camping than Outback Australia. Except for the flies.

Crossing the Equator at Meru

Stage Summaries

In my mind, I'm still going

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